— Moose Allain κ¬ (@MooseAllain) August 1, 2026
Hey @Tesco my shopping basket kept auto adding Ginger. As much as I love the stuff I don't have a spare Β£2million for it. pic.twitter.com/V6XKSTGzgF
— Chris (@Nyerider) August 3, 2026
Radical idea ahead of next summerβ¦.build the first new UK reservoir since privatisation in 1989.
— Craig. (@bambibristol) August 1, 2026
Weekend is scam because instead of resting on Saturdays, you end up cleaning the mess you made while surviving Monday to Friday.
— Lisa (@lisathebeauty1) August 1, 2026
As of 8pm this evening Count Binface has officially spent more time in Clacton than Nigel Farage has since he was elected in 2024.
— RS Archer (@archer_rs) August 1, 2026
In case you were thinking of outsourcing your parenting to AI. pic.twitter.com/yb9IsRaNt8
— Stanley Johnson (@BrandDNA) August 1, 2026
Oscar Piastri doesnβt miss when it comes to posting on August 2 π https://t.co/rH9BfvhXui pic.twitter.com/2HzmuFPnHl
— Daniel Valente ποΈ (@F1GuyDan) August 2, 2026
No one seems to get this but itβs very funny https://t.co/04HH29ZwSn
— Kat Wilde π€ (@katwildeatl) August 1, 2026
i really love the phrase 'with all due respect' because it doesn't specify how much respect is due. could be none.
— femiiiiii. (@femiiiszn) August 2, 2026
Black panels at the bottom make it look like a baby grow https://t.co/FxixhpofjK
— Paul McDonald (@Paul_R_McDonald) August 4, 2026
— Fuck You I Quit (@fuckyouiquit) August 4, 2026
Fix this immediately. @duolingo pic.twitter.com/mH5H9Kj8Dr
— No Context Brits (@NoContextBrits) August 4, 2026
Scrolling though the Argos catalogue was our doom scrolling
— Prison Mike (@schwiftyshiffty) August 4, 2026
WHO. THOUGHT. WOMEN. WANT. REMOVABLE. PADS. IN. SPORTS. BRAS. πππ
— Dua (@Duakz5q) August 4, 2026
Mustβve been a dude. Literally no woman wants this.
No way is the joke candidate actually winning in the polls π https://t.co/bX9dc29XG0
— Daniel (@DanielH_LUFC) August 4, 2026
Iβm just thinking that maybe they should have made Tupperware the color of spaghetti sauce to begin with. π€π€·π»ββοΈ
— Shannon Hill (@ShannonMFHill) August 5, 2026
It must be so frustrating to be a Conservative politician and to have all these fantastic ideas for how to make the country better so soon after having 14 years in power when all they did was make the country worse.
— Larry the Cat (@Number10cat) August 5, 2026
What really pisses me off:
— Ramin Nasibov (@RaminNasibov) August 5, 2026
33 + 77 is not equal to 100.
— Yes, But (@_yesbut_) August 6, 2026
fork found in kitchen https://t.co/43fnBx7mQK
— Ryanair (@Ryanair) August 7, 2026
Pocahontas and William Shakespeare died less than a year apart from each otherβ¦in the same country.
— Encyclopaedia Britannica (@Britannica) August 7, 2026
When my daughter was five, she interrupted a bedtime story to tell me, βIn a cake eating contest, it doesnβt really matter if you win or lose because you get to eat cake.β
— κ§ΰΌβ¬ πΎπππ£πππ β¬ΰΌκ§ (@Gabbrielxzn) August 7, 2026
I think about that a lot.
Whoever came up with βlefty loosey, righty tightyβ absolutely knocked it out of the park
— πππππͺ (@FromN5_) August 7, 2026
Finally – Muppets James Bond. https://t.co/AaFYfTSoLg
— Grace (@graceyldn) August 8, 2026
In which Binface reads a passage from the Odyssey in the original and (I am not joking, check from 0:56) Alastair responds, verbatim βNow listen Count, youβre involved in a very serious political event and I donβt think you should go around the streets of Clacton spouting Latin.β https://t.co/TrBiCREYdK
— "The Marquis" (@musi_lunghi) August 6, 2026
ineke.co.uk 
Anything to add...?